..get that feeling that you’re just not good enough?
That you’re not right, in many ways and form. Not right in the head, not right where you belong, not right-handed.
Lately, that has been bugging me. Talking to others about it helps as a form of distraction, but that’s exactly what it is, just a distraction. After the effects wear off, I’m back where I started, self-doubt.
They say that time will tell, but what if it tells me something I don’t want to hear. It tells me something devastating such as, “you should’ve seized your chance, but you let it slip, so it’s all going away.”
“Wise men say, only fools rush in..“
well they are right. There isn’t a use jumping right into something, feet first, without scoping out the full situation and your environment.
But if you’re too cautious and don’t take risks, you lose out.
Though, as typical to my character, playing it safe, being chill about it, will be for the best.
“..but I can’t help, falling in love with you”
Haha! I had to complete the line. and no, I’m not falling in love with you, not yet at least.
Just need to tell myself that I shouldn’t get too comfortable as I will get clingy.
Just gotta chill and do my own stuff.
Stop, thinking too much.
Man. Just gotta say that this blog has been such a fail.
Short-term interest on my side has led to no updates in like 8 months.
what has happened in the past 8 months? Load.
Zul oh Zul, so much fail.
So I have been back from my trip for close to two weeks now, and I have to start on my post-trip review. Mind you, in my head, I was going to blog/write whenever I had time to sit down with a cup of coffee while I was there. (as you can tell, I didn’t do such a thing)
I have been kinda caught up with work and definitely not feeling very much into writing a post. Though, I have been occasionally sharing snippets from the trip on instagram.
Well, that is a quick preview of what went down. A proper review is overdue and one that I will write up and post within the next few weeks.
till the next time,
What is procrastination?
- the action of delaying or postponing something
It’s as simple as that. Putting off a task you’re supposed to complete at a certain time only to do it at a later date, that is procrastination.
What is procrastination to me?
Procrastination is not doing everything I’ve listed in head (yeah, I’ll have to work on putting it on a proper list) only to regret not doing it in the first place.
Procrastination is keeping all my ideas in my head and not jotting it down. I lose most if not all of my ideas. I really gotta work on this.
Procrastination is not starting this blog after a certain “hangout” so I can shade. But it’s all good now, live and and let live.
Procrastination is not picking up hobbies that I’ve been telling people I want to pick up but never actually made time for.
- Modern Calligraphy
- Electronic music
- Solo adventure into post-rock
- Videography / Photography
Procrastination is not planning and booking and researching about my upcoming trip.
Procrastination is everything and yet it doesn’t amount to much. Perhaps it’s just an excuse that I hide behind, because all I truly am is lazy.
It’s a character flaw that I truly have to work on but honestly, it has it’s perks too. Like, if I were to pick up all the above listed hobbies, I would have spent even more money, so in a sense, my bank account can thank me for being such a procrastinator.
Well that’s all that is in my mind currently.
2016. What a year.
2016, the internet is calling you a disaster with all the disappoints that you’ve brought along, in the general sense of it all.
Has it been a disappointing year for me? Honestly, not really. There were ups as well as there were downs. But essentially, that was how life is supposed to be, full of ups and downs.
We’re sailing down the ocean, captaining our ship, “Life”. Sometimes the seas are rough, other times it’s calm. It’s all part of the journey to our goals and dreams.
Honestly, this post was going to be longer, in my head at least. Alas, I decided that I would split my 2016 review post into multiple posts (cause I’m organized like that, haha. 😂).
It has been years since I’ve last blogged and back then, I was a naive teen with a narrow view of the world at large. (I’m not counting the failed blog/website I did for my old band, that was ambitiousof us). I’ve grown since then, in more ways than one, hopefully one of it is wiser.
Okay, back to 2016.
Generally, I would say that it was an alright year. There were highs and there were lows. Through it all I have come through, a better person than I was in 2015, but nevertheless, it has been a journey of getting to know my resolve. Be it with troubles and stress at work, disappointments with love, or rather lack thereof, I can say I’m stronger now, mentally at least. I know my limits with stress and handling it better thanks to a TED Talk I came across many months ago.
Basically, stress is a good thing and one should embrace it rather than shun or avoid it altogether. Afterall, life with challenges is much more fulfilling than one with out any obstacles.
Hopes for 2017? (Resolutions, haha)
First off, I haven’t really made or accomplished any new years resolution since I was still a teenager. I could say it has almost been a decade since I’ve made one. But there is some good to making them, at least to keep you going on a path for the first few weeks of the new year.
Focus on myself.
- Basically, just to discover who I really am as a person. Like how William discovered himself in Westworld.
- Build on my strengths, work on weaknesses.
Get into the groove of guitar
- I’ve been neglecting the guitar for far too long.
- Just play it casually with no specific goal in mind.
Lose weight, lol.
- Self-explanatory. Been too lazy in the past few years, gotta get up and move my ass.
See more, do more.
- See more of the world, experience the outside world.
- I’m a recluse by default and I missed out too many things and experiences just because I was lazy or there was no one to go with.
- The above shall not and must not be an excuse anymore.
Well, that was my wrap up. Not overly specific, not overly detailed. I will look back and learn from my mistakes and just get on with my life. Keep moving forward.